Conflict Management: Winning Isn't Everything

We’ve all heard a coach say, “There is no I in team.” Collaborative communication involves teamwork. The Transaction model sees communication as something we do with one another (Cahn & Abigail, 2007). Of course, we can begin to blame our negative reaction to a problem on our emotions. But the fact of the matter is we have a responsibility to control ourselves. When a triggering event occurs, also known as the “beginning of the problem,” we must remember to stop. Stop is the first step in the S-TLC system (Cahn & Abigail, 2007). By giving yourself time to pause and analyze the situation you are more likely to gain control of your mental state.

The next step in the S-TLC technique is to think. How many times have we said or done something we’ve regretted without thinking?  Analyzing the situation is imperative in order to de-escalate the conflict and decide if the conflict is real or unreal. 

If you decide a real conflict exists, action is needed. Real conflicts range from minor issues to those serious enough to damage a relationship (Cahn & Abigail, 2007).  To effectively solve problems you must work together with the opposing party rather than competing. Letting the other person know how you feel by owning feelings and shying away from physical and verbally abusive behavior is key. Using “I” statements prevents the opposing party from turning defensive. “You” language points blame and avoids responsibility (Cahn & Abigail, 2007).

There are two sides to every story. No matter how passionate you are about your stance, there is always another view to consider. Voicing your side of the story and listening to the other person takes place in the differentiation phase. Both parties should voice concerns, wants, needs and potential solutions to the problem. Validating each others’ complaints is important.  When only one viewpoint is legitimate, conflict arises from an argument (Cahn & Abigail, 2007, pg 30). Of course, arguments impede the process of conflict resolution.

The win-lose system is so prevalent in our society. We unconsciously adapt this mindset in communication by favoring the idea of compromise. Compromise accommodates the needs of one party while leaving the other party somewhat dissatisfied. The preferred conflict strategy is collaboration where both parties find mutually satisfying solutions to issues (Cahn & Abigail, 2007). Collaboration requires both parties to act in a mature manner, pushing power struggles aside and doing the necessary steps to achieve a peaceful end.

Communication is about more than just saying what’s on our mind (Cahn & Abigail, 2007, pg 55). It is how we relate to anyone other than ourselves. Relationships are a big determinant to our personal and professional success. Learning how to effectively resolve problems is an important life tool. But first we must adapt an attitude that no one has to lose in conflict. Both parties can come out winners by working together, avoiding judgment, empathizing with each other and keeping an open mind (Cahn & Abigail, 2007, pg 53).

Writing a Proposal

Statement of Problem

According to U.S. census information, Hispanics are the fastest growing population in the United States.  The Hispanic origin population is expected to contribute 45 percent of the nation’s population growth from 2010 to 2030 (2010).  Ashford University has to better prepare students to operate in a bi-lingual society.  A growing Hispanic population is forcing most businesses to require employees to be proficient in English and Spanish.  Ashford graduates have the potential to be overlooked for jobs and promotions because they cannot speak, read, or write Spanish, even though they have a college degree.

Currently, Ashford only offers some Spanish classes as electives.  This leaves students with only a minimum amount of Spanish education, most likely forcing them to search elsewhere for upper-level Spanish classes.  Ashford must meet the growing and changing demands of society by providing students with an opportunity to become dual language learners.

Objective

This proposal outlines a feasible plan to begin implementation of an online Spanish degree program at Ashford University.  It will list the advantages for the student as well as university.

Proposed Plan

A curriculum plan is needed that involves reading and hands on approaches to learning Spanish. Most Universities require 1 year of beginning Spanish and 1 year of intermediate Spanish as a prerequisite for upper level courses.  After that students are able to take 300 and 400 level classes.  Administrators must find textbooks that come equipped with audio c.d.’s.  These c.d.’s will help students say words, phrases and sentences correctly and should go along with lesson plans.  These can either be purchased from an outside vendor or faculty members can come up with their own.  Upper and lower level classes will follow the same approach, educational literature and audio.  Other required courses should be Spanish writing and grammar. Spanish Electives are also needed concerning Spanish history, culture and literature.  Studying abroad in a Spanish country could also be offered for college credit.  Students would have to pay out of pocket for trip expenses.

Incorporating Rosetta Stone Classroom software is also an excellent learning tool for the online Spanish program.  Rosetta Stone is responsible for countless success stories of everyday people becoming bi-lingual.  Rosetta Stone’s interactive software helps students build proficiency in listening comprehension, speaking, writing and reading (1999-2010).  Classroom software comes with c.d.’s, lessons and activities for students in higher education.  To order software or to find out pricing information you would have to contact a representative online or by phone at rosettastone.com.

Conclusion

Competition is heating up among colleges and universities as they strive to provide the best online programs.  Currently, top online schools such as Phoenix and Kaplan University do not offer Spanish degrees.  By implementing this program Ashford University has the potential to become more attractive to future and prospective students.

Business Writing: Sending a Direct E-mail

TO: Tyler Independent School Board Members, Directors and other Managerial Staff

FROM: De’Airra Marchbanks

DATE: September 26, 2010

SUBJECT: Making Better Decisions

The last couple of years, our school district was privileged to pass 2 bond referendums, thanks to the support of our community. The opportunity allowed Tyler ISD to build almost a dozen new schools for our elementary students. Thus proving a better learning environment increases test scores, attendance, even school morale. It is evident the bond program was a great decision made by our school board members.

However, we cannot just excel at making the big decisions. We must strive to make well thought out, well executed decisions all year long. When deciding budgets cuts, the same thorough thought process used in the bond decision must be applied. Recently a decision was made to not give raises to Tyler ISD faculty and staff. I realize this decision was impartial. Everyone was affected, from administrators to janitors. However, was this a great choice? Due to a weak economy many inside the district are struggling to pay mortgages, medical bills, even gas. Were Tyler ISD leaders listening to the needs of their staff and faculty? Soliciting feedback and input on certain situations helps to make a more informed decision. This approach takes humility, compassion and more importantly a willingness to work with the people dedicated to ensuring the success of our students.

This is just one example highlighting our need for improvement. In the coming weeks, I will present to you a report on becoming effective decision makers. I will discuss the following processes: defining a problem, weighing the pros and cons, selecting the best alternative, and then evaluating that decision. I will also include concrete examples of how we have failed in making the everyday choices while succeeding in making the big decisions. Balance is needed.

My hope is the report will motivate us to become better leaders. We all share the same passion for Tyler ISD, to reach its highest potential - someday becoming an exemplary district. This can only be achieved one great decision at a time!

Thanks for your time.

Mock Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contacts:

De’Airra Marchbanks, Public Relations Manager for Keys Entertainment

807 West 2^nd Street, New York, NY, 10009

(516) 262-3106

deairramarchbanks@yahoo.com

ALICIA KEYS UNLEASHES, “THE ELEMENT OF FREEDOM”

New York, N.Y. - August 9, 2010 -   Multiple Grammy award winning writer and songstress Alicia Keys is opening up her soul again for fans everywhere to hear in her new c.d. entitled, “The Element of Freedom.” The album’s expected release date for the United States is September 1, 2010. This is Key’s fourth studio album. Her previous works include: Songs in A Minor, The Diary of Alicia Keys, and As I Am.

Alicia Keys began work on “The Element of Freedom” last year. Keys said her goal for this album was to convey freedom. “I wanted to show a softer side of me. I always show my strength,” said Keys. Her hope is that each song inspires and uplifts.

The album also features collaborations with some of the industry’s most popular superstars, rappers Drake and Jay Z along with multi-platinum selling artist Beyonce’.

Alicia Keys hails from Long Island, New York. She is one of the best selling artists of all time with twelve Grammy awards, eleven Billboard Awards, five American Music Awards, three World Music Awards, three MTV Awards, three BET awards and fourteen NAACP Image Awards (http://www.aliciakeys.com/us/alicia-keys-biography)

Example of Technical Writing: How to Brush Teeth

Introduction

Brushing your teeth is an important everyday process for most Americans. Besides being a sign of good dental hygiene, frequent teeth brushing helps prevent several mouth illnesses such as: gingivitis, tarter buildup, tooth decay, and bad breath. Good oral health can also increase your attractiveness. 

Brush your teeth in the bathroom near a sink where running water is easily accessible. It’s recommended that you engage in this process at least 2 times a day – morning and night. Each setting will take approximately 2-3 minutes.

The Process:

Remove the top from your toothpaste. This is usually done by twisting the top to the left until it falls off. Place your toothbrush bristle side up on the counter. Make sure you are near a sink or at least running water. (Note: If you do not have counter space, using your thumb and index finger hold the toothbrush in one hand).

Run the toothbrush bristles under water for a split second to wet the brush.

Place the toothbrush back on the counter, bristle side up. Place the toothpaste in your hands. Point it downward. Make sure the opening is touching the bristles on the toothbrush. Using any fingers you choose, squeeze a dime size amount of toothpaste on the bristles of the toothbrush. (Note: You may have to use one hand to hold the toothbrush so it does not fall over).The toothpaste should cover the top of the bristles on the toothbrush.

With your elbow bent and lips parted begin massaging your teeth with the brush in a circular motion. Do not apply too much force.

Brush the top exterior row of teeth. Don’t forget back teeth. Do this for 20 seconds then proceed to the bottom exterior row. If too much toothpaste or saliva forms in your mouth spit it out in the sink. Spitting is normal and should be done frequently during this process.

After that, part your lips back even more and brush the top and bottom portion of your gums – be gentle. If bleeding occurs, apply less force. Remember to spit if necessary and keep your toothbrush wet.

Next, stick your tongue out and gently brush your tongue.. Do this for approximately 20 seconds.

Repeat the brushing process for at least 2 to 3 minutes.

*If this process causes extreme discomfort, please contact your dentist immediately.

Delivering Bad News Tactfully & Effectively

Scenario:  
“You are a department manager in a mid-sized company that provides technology support services.  You have ten employees who are required to maintain a high level of technical expertise and deliver excellent customer service.  One of your employees, who have been with the company for two years, is performing at a substandard level and you have received numerous complaints from customers and coworkers.  In addition, this employee has displayed confrontational behavior which has created a hostile environment.  You must now meet with this employee and deliver an ultimatum regarding the need for immediate improvement or dismissal.”

Position leaders are charged with obtaining routine compliance with the operating procedures and expectations of an organization (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009). It’s clear that this employee is not meeting expectations set nor focusing on the big picture. He (referring to the employee) is no longer concerned with his job performance and work etiquette which presents a problem. I would call him into my office without prior notification. I do not want to create anxiety. Then in a respectful way I would communicate my concerns. The book, “Managing Conflict Through Communication (2007)” expounds on several ways to respond after a conflict arises. You can avoid the conflict altogether and hope it goes away on its own. This is referred to as nonassertive communication. You can display aggressive communication behaviors such as verbal assault, threats or actual physical violence. Aggressive communicators are only concerned with their needs and rely mainly on “force” to get their interests met. Then there are passive aggressors. These individuals go behind your back to cause physical or psychological pain. The method I would use and proves the most effective is assertiveness. This method regards everyone’s feelings and has a goal of creating a win-win situation for everyone involved.
I would emphasize to the employee how important it is to maintain a high technical knowledge to keep our customers satisfied. I would explain how this company is foremost dedicated to customer service. And if his lack of knowledge is causing clients to look elsewhere for help, that means he has become a liability to the company. We only employ assets. After that, in a respectful way I would address his inability to get along with fellow employees. I would validate my point by voicing specific situations in which he displayed aggressive behavior to others. When my point is made, I would solicit feedback from the employee. This will give him a chance to explain his behavior. Unknowingly, he could be dealing with personal issues at home or even a medical condition that may explain his behavior. Encouraging open, honest communication helps get to the bottom of an issue.
Would you employ the same communication behavior? If not, what would you do differently?

Media Technologies

Let's familiarize ourselves with four different media technologies and discuss how they are used in the 21st Century.

Blog is a shortened version of the name web log, an online personal essay (Marsh, Guth, Short, 2009). Blogs can be informal and personal or represent a company. Either way they serve 2 primary purposes: to entertain or inform. Blogs are usually set up with a particular audience in mind. Companies seeking to build personal relationships with key stakeholders employ blogs. For example, Toyota has a blog called, "Our Point of View." In August of last year the company's Chief Quality Officer for North America published a post addressing the major recalls http://pressroom.toyota.com/pr/tms/our-point-of-view-post.aspx?id=3296.
 Recently, I checked out a blogger's comments about actor Charlie Sheen. As we all know Sheen has been on almost every media outlet discussing his life and drug addiction. "Dilbert" writer, Scott Adams had an interesting perspective. Check it out: http://www.dilbert.com/blog/entry/charlie_sheen/. Any interesting blogs you'd like to share?

YouTube is a content community where people can share videos for free, either to entertain or inform. Just recently, I watched Steve Jobs on YouTube introduce his new media technology, the iPad 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b661ovU1rPU.
 YouTube does not have a specific target audience. It appeals to everyone no matter nationality, age, occupation or income level. Millionaire Steve Jobs can utilize YouTube but so can a 12 year old boy.
Facebook is known as a social network. Just recently the movie, "Social Network" depicted how Facebook became the social media giant it is today. The movie earned an Academy Award nomination for best picture. The site has had an enormous effect on our culture. Facebook has changed the way people interact and meet and the way businesses network and market forever. Social networking sites are a virtual chat room. Anyone at anytime can find and chat with old friends, family or complete strangers.


Podcasts also called "webcasts" - a series of digital media files. Essentially they are little radios and televisions that let you listen to your favorite programming on your time via a portable device like an mp3 player or an iPod. Podfreaks.com lets you watch different web content all on one website. Professionals and amateurs can utilize the technology.

Using Manipulation, Seduction, and Persuasion

Over the years, several techniques have been adapted to improve the success of human communication. Some use the “I Language” technique to help communication come off less offensively. Some use hand gestures to amplify their message and others use persuasion, manipulation and seduction.

Let’s first address about manipulation. Manipulation is void of honesty and usually full of deceit. It is often used as a persuasion method in speeches, everyday conversations and in the advertising field. Any message that disguises the truth gives me reason to worry. I believe there is no justification for companies or professionals to use manipulation. It is unethical. Ethics is defined as moral principles that guide judgments about good and bad, right and wrong not just effectiveness or efficiency (Shockley –Zalabak, 2009). For example, the weight loss advertisements pry on people’s extreme desire to lose weight. Some companies who do not believe in ethical behavior but rather the almighty dollar broadcast commercials that promise rapid weight gain without dieting. However, they are untrue. They display overweight people losing weight and feeling great in unrealistic time spans. Desperate viewers feed into the manipulation technique only to find out the program or product does not work. Representatives may even convince you to give it more time; results take longer for some people. You continue to waste more money until you come to the realization you were scammed.

Manipulation plays with people’s minds, causing them to believe a falsity. Advertisers, publishers, tabloid magazines, even corporate executives have got away with it for way too long.

Seduction is another form of trickery. It is ubiquitous. It sells advertising, movies, television shows, magazines, internet sites, practically every form of communication media. The proof is in the pudding, so to speak. People continue to utilize seducing techniques because it brings in profits. Many advertisers are using sexual seduction to sell anything from a mop to a pack of beer. You can not flip on the television without seeing a seductive message or hearing one on the radio. Commercials rely on the fact everyone wants to feel sexy, attractive and have a partner of some kind. Seduction has another powerful advantage because it attracts a wide consumer audience, impartial to gender, sex or age.

I do not consider all seduction methods unethical. I do think it can get out of hand. Advertisers need to set boundaries on when to broadcast ads that contain sexual innuendos. I do not think those type of messages are suitable for kids. Unfortunately they are not an excluded target audience.

 Persuasion is an attempt to influence. However, we need to be persuaded to participate in the right activities, believe in the right ideas and engage in the right behavior. Most importantly we need to be ethical in our attempts to persuade. According to the International Encyclopedia of Social Sciences, early research suggested women were more easily persuaded. Although, recent research suggests one’s knowledge about a topic makes them more susceptible to persuasion. We all have participated in both sides of persuasion. We have been the one trying to change someone else’s’ mind and we know all too well what it is like to succeed at altering someone else’s’ mind. Let’s improve the process by eliminating manipulation and seduction. Let’s begin to deliver messages with honesty. What could possibly go wrong, someone changes their mind?

References

Gass, R.H. & Seiter, J.S. (2004). Persuasion, Social Influence and Compliance Gaining. Boston: Pearson.

"Persuasion." International Encyclopedia of the Social Sciences. 2008. Retrieved March 08, 2010 from Encyclopedia.com: http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G2-3045301929.html

Shockley-Zalabak, P. (2009). Fundamentals of Organizational Communication: Knowledge, Sensitivity, Skills, Values (7th ed.) Boston: Pearson.

Trenholm, S. (2008). Thinking through communication: An introduction to the study of human communication (5^th ed.). Boston: Pearson.

Communication, Complicated!

Isn't that statement true?  How many of us can honestly say we have mastered the art of communication? And just when we think we have, it changes again.
I have created this blog as a learning tool. It is also an assignment for my Communications Capstone class at Ashford University. My aim is to elaborate on the communications process by sharing professional and  personal insights. Feel free to comment and add to the discussion. Let's learn together how to master this complicated thing we call, communication.

De'Airra